I should be ashamed of myself

I am just shameless enough to use my blog for this.  Maybe someone can help me out.  I knowthere are a few competent writers out there reading my blog (no names so I don’t put anyone on the spot or leave anyone out) and I am looking for a favor.  First, some background.

I stumbled across a contest at coolstuff4writers.com that challenges writers to write a scene using only dialogue.  I sat down and started playing with it.  I started out with some detective and lieutenant talking about a perp and bored myself sufficiently to delete the whole thing and start over.

I’m much happier with what I have now.  It’s more than a scene; it’s a one-scene story…I think.  It takes place over the phone and I really felt the need for a line of explanation as to who hung up.  The contest (which I haven’t conclusively decided to enter) seems to prohibit even that much.  I think I managed to end things (a bit of a dangling ending, but that works sometimes), I just want some feedback.

I guess what I’m (shamelessly) asking is: anyone got time to skim a 1200-word story just to let me know if it has an ending?  Let me know and I’ll send you a copy.  Other commentary would be welcome, but the ending is mainly what I’m looking for.

Normally I’d take it to Critters or maybe Baen’s Bar, but it’s not technically a “ready” story.  That and the contest has a deadline.  I’d be happy to offer a reciprocal critique to any takers.  No pressure though; I know how my schedule gets.  Just thought I’d ask.

-Oso