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Summer and other things that may not happen

March 11, 2010

The lack of new news is driving me mad.  I want to know something…about CW, about who actually made C-SD, something!

It’s one thing to know I can (slowly) get my career going even if I don’t go through a Clarion workshop.  I get that, I can handle it.  The real issue is that while other people start talking about summer plans, I am wrapped in either spending six weeks as a writer with writers doing writer things or trying to find ways to fill my summer a piece at a time.

If I get in CW, I’ll spend six weeks away from my wife and daughter.  Six weeks!  I haven’t spent six consecutive days away from my daughter since her birth or from my wife since we got married a decade ago.  Going to Clarion will be a gargantuan sacrifice and emotional drain.  (I may be able to channel that into a story, should it come to pass.)  If I don’t go, I have that massive loss before me, a feeling of disappointment so strong that last year I didn’t write anything new while the workshop took place.  (Not sure if I’ve confessed that here before or not.)  I’m just a very emotional guy.

Every day that passes — every hour that passes without news pulls me in both directions at once, preparing me simultaneously to have no workshop and no family.  I need hints like an junkie needs methadone.

Patience is gone now; only anxiety remains.  I think I’m going to get some chamomile to calm my nerves.  Or maybe something stronger.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. March 11, 2010 11:09 pm

    I’m with you, man. I know there are other things to worry about in the world, but I applied really early to CW, and I wish I could just get the “knowing” over with already. I’d rather know if I didn’t get in like now, but that’s my id screaming at me…Maybe both camps are secretive this year–asking those accepted not to say anything until everyone’s been notified. In any case, I suppose I’m going to go with worst-case scenario and just plan accordingly. This anxiety stuff has got my mind all fogged up. It’s bad for the writing vision!

    • osomuerte permalink
      March 11, 2010 11:44 pm

      Last year it was C-SD that was slow, waiting till well past their declared date to send out rejections. They apparently went to the flip side this year and CW is running slow. There are a million reasons to make us wait. I liked it better to watch the list of acceptances grow a little each day, even though it meant I was one of the last people to know I missed the boat. I’m hoping they’re starting late rather than swearing people to silence since no one has sworn me to anything yet.

      On the upside, CW acceptance calls started on the third last year and were still being received as late as the 17th or after at a rate of just 2 or 3 a day. So patience might not be a bad idea. I’m just starting to get a very bad vibe. Rejection does that, I guess. I thought my C-SD app was strong and it bounced. Now I only have one chance left.

      It’s like waiting for the very last bank in town to decide if they’re going to give me a mortgage or if I have to start looking at apartments; while I have a preference, I really just need somewhere to live.

  2. March 12, 2010 2:05 pm

    I have to admit that I’m getting antsy, too. I looked up tourist attractions in Seattle just to eyeball the area code on their phone numbers. That way, I can pee my pants BEFORE picking up the phone when and if they call me. It’s 206, BTW.

    • osomuerte permalink
      March 12, 2010 3:39 pm

      Thanks a lot. Now I’ll be staring at my caller id all weekend. 🙂

      Can you imagine if the American Idol contestants had to wait until “sometime next month” to find out if they were going to Hollywood? They’d all crack. At least we’re writers; we’re already cracked.

  3. clint permalink
    March 12, 2010 4:33 pm

    Osoooooo…why won’t they tell us one way or the other? Hey I had also found that one about the dude not getting into cw, but like you I doubted its accuracy. I left comments and questions with my email on his blog. He never replied…we could take that as no news, and he was being pouty. I doubt he applied! So here we wait, all of us apparently going nuts. Odd I haven’t seen more csd rejections posted. No acceptance news, and no cw news period. Think someone mixed up the definitely yes csd list with the hell nos and they emailed the wrong folks?

  4. March 12, 2010 6:30 pm

    Does Clarion SD always ask all acceptances to keep hush hush?

    • osomuerte permalink
      March 12, 2010 7:37 pm

      Always? I don’t know. Last year they did and they seem to be doing it this year.

  5. March 12, 2010 6:35 pm

    I feel fairly cracked, anyway. And you’re welcome! 🙂

  6. March 13, 2010 4:12 am

    i didn’t get into CW or CSD this year. happy?

    (also, didn’t apply).

    sorry you guys are all having to hang like this. but it won’t be more than a couple more weeks. probably. i’m biting my nails for you! (hits refresh).

  7. March 13, 2010 11:28 pm

    Oh, did I happen to mention that little husband and wife operation out in Oregon? Ms. Nobu might be able to tell you better than I can, whether or not those two put out some valuable info. (winky wink)

    • March 14, 2010 5:32 pm

      True, the Dean Wesley Smith workshops I attended were pretty awesome. I feel light years ahead now on things I didn’t understand before. I’m intending to attend at least two more this year. They aren’t beginner and craft focused though.

      But they don’t have the caché of Clarion, this is true. I’ll never put DWS workshop survivor in a cover letter 🙂 But for pure long-term business of being a writer information as well as buckle down and git’er’done ness of writing and submitting stuff, I don’t know if it can be beat.

      Anyway, that was my impression, Brad might have more to say 🙂

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