Seeking traction

I did get around to a little writing yesterday, but it was all of the revision variety.  I’m in the process of retrofitting an early draft so it has more direction.  My goal is to finish retrofitting tonight and finish the draft by Sunday (since I can’t guarantee much weekday time).  Still a substantial project.

Gotta give the Bitty-Boo her bath.  More later.

Not laurels again

I’ve been here before.  For whatever reason, when I feel like my writing career is starting to actually resemble a career more than a hobby, I try to rest on my laurels.  Dumb, pointless, counter-productivething to do.  I need to be writing.  Heck, why would feeling like a real witer make me want to stop writing?  Is it fear of success?  (Possibly.)  Is it laziness?  (Probably a little.)  But the drive to write seems strongest when I’m discouraged, not encouraged.

Not necessarily true.  I didn’t write much last summer — nothing brand new — because I was in a funk about missing out on Clarion West.  Childish thing to do (sensing a pattern here?), but that was me, sulking.  Nevertheless, I hit streaks of no production when I feel good about writing.

A little psychoanalysis suggests a couple possible explanations.  Writing is hard and often unpleasant, so this good feeling about writing doesn’t want to risk being tainted by the negative feelings that accompany writing a difficult passage.  Or Maybe I just fear that the next thing I write won’t be as good as the last thing I wrote.

I am allowing myself the afternoon off to finish my childish procrastination, but I resume writing tonight.  I write better at night anyway (stock excuse #23).  I’ve been sick and I deserve a little recreation time (stock excuse #31) and I only get so many chances a week to have some fun (stock excuse #3).  Excuses or not, I’m chilling for a few hours.  I’ll update tomorrow as to whether I made any progress.

And no, I’m not pulling the words-a-week I’m supposed to be aiming for, paltry as that sum was (3000 I think?).  I need to do better.

What The Font?

I recently posted that changing from Courier New to just plain Courier saved me five pages of manuscript for my CW application.  Apparently I was wrong about that.

I just got my CW confirmation stating I had sent them a 36-page short story (title withheld because it’s still in WotF judging).  That’s right, 36!  According to them, I gained a page.  And it was a PDF so it shouldn’t be a formatting issue.  Was the page counter on my Word having an off night?  Or had the French Onion Dip gotten to my head so I couldn’t tell the difference between a 6 and a 0?

I’m pretty mad about it.  At who?  I don’t know, but I’m mad.  The email says that screeners ill only read through page 30 (like they can stop, right?…yeah baby…er…hmmm).

OH SNAP!  I sent the wrong !@#&**! file!  Shiznit!  I literally JUST figured that out.

Now what?  Well for starters, I finish this blog post in stream-of-consciousness mode.  Do I contact them like the pansy amateur I am and plea to my own ignorance?  Or do I suck it up and bite the bullet?  Aggghh!  Am I sabotaging myself on purpose?  What kind of idiot sends an important file without reading over it to make sure it was the right version?

Oso is a dumbass.

I’m going to see whatthe dumbass can get done.  If nothing, so be it.

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UPDATE: I just finished writing my pitiful, beggy email asking that they replace my story with the 30-pager.  Then I started to really reearch why my page count was so different.  The answer: different computers.  I could send the other file and still have it come out 35 or more pages.  Why?  No clue.  Version of Word?  Mac vs. PC?  IIt doesn’t matter that much in the long run, I guess.  I accept my fate.  Hey, if the story has a weak part, it’s the ending.  So maybe this is good.

Or maybe I’ll go crawl into a bottle of rum for the night.

Bottom line, no beggy email is going out…I bet the first page is a stupid coversheet.  Damn, the formatting is wrong.  I am an idiot.  Oh well, there’s always San Diego…

Who New?

The stomach virus seems to be gone (a few symptoms remain but we won’t go into detail).  I stayed home again today because my muscles are sore (we don’t have to detail why) and my voice is gone (I’ll just say “acid” and leave it at that).  Sorry if this disturbs you.  I had to explain it to someone.

Sitting at home, I decided to contemplate my Clarion West application, specifically the story.  It was 35 pages and they want 30.  Back in high school, manipulating page numbers was all about margins and font size.Nothing says amateur hour like non-standard margins or an 11 font size (instead of 12).  So I didn’t go there.  I could play with fonts a bit, though.  It’s not cool to use a varying font size, like Times-New Roman, but I thought I might be able to use another standard format font (per online recommendations) and squeeze it closer to the page count.

It turns out I had my story in Courier New.  Sounds like just a better Courier, doesn’t it?  Well it ain’t.  The typeface is significantly larger than Courier.  How much?  A simple switch to Courier moved this 35 page story to…wait for it…30 pages.  So I guess I’m ready to apply.

Bizarre.  I don’t usually deal with number of pages, just word count, so I really had no idea the difference was so considerable.  Anyway, I guess I’ll get my CW app out today, after a quick trip to the store for some Aleve and some Lipton’s Noodle Soup.

UPDATE:

This got me wondering about what else I didn’t know.  A quick check suggests that editors want 1-inch margins all around.  I knew that.  However MS Word apparently defaults to 1.25 inch margins on the left and right.

Why didn’t I know this?  I’ve been writing and submitting manuscripts for over a decade!  Why am I just figuring this out now?  This margin thing is the biggest clunker since editors look at page numbers for their estimated word counts (they don’t all trust word processors).  I don’t think it’s a huge deal, especially for electronic submissions which tend to get reformatted anyway, but I suddenly feel like a rank amateur.  I guess it’s just a bit of humbling data to remind me that’s exactly what I still am.

Why do I feel like I’m gonna hurl?

I just finished my Clarion application!  (I missed the application invitation when I paid my fee, but someone from the Clarion Foundation was kind enough to point me to the right webpage.)  And now I feel like I’m going to vomit.  Is that related to the application?  Or is it the fact that I was lying on my stomach while I filled it out, after eating microwave Chinese food and a stack of cookies?  Or did I forget my reflux medicine this morning?  Or is it because my daughtehad a stomach flu and now the beast has come for me?

Well the application is done anyway.  If I hurl, I hurl.  I’ll survive either way.

I still need to do the CW app.  Still waiting on my source to advise me thoroughly before I send it.  It will all be out there soon.  Then just more waiting.

I hate waiting.

Why I should do things in advance

I decided this afternoon that I’d read over my two strongest pieces and send them to Clarion with my application.  I read.  One story pulled an honorable mention from WotF and the other is my finalist story, only the latter has been shaved down by about 500 words to fit the application guidelines better.  I don’t think the story loses too much from the edit and it’s not worth the gamble to send the full version.  (I’m waiting on some inside information as to whether I need to send the shortened or the full to CW.)  Anyway, the stories have been touched up and are ready to go, I got financial info from my wife for the scholarship application, I paid my application fee…

…and now I have to wait for an invitation code before I do anything.

I have the application receipt, but that’s not what they want.  Last year it took only a couple hours to get the code.  We’ll see for this year.  I had to do this on a holiday weekend?

It just goes to show what my procrastination will do.  I’ve been planning to apply for forever, I could have paid that fee at any time.  But no, genius that I am, I wait until I’m ready to fill out the application online.  Boo to me.

On the upside, I’m ready to submit…I think.  It’s that second story that has me scratching my head.  I could send “Faerie Belches”, it was pretty good.  Or “Excuse Me” to show that I have a sense of humor.  Or “Chasers”, which is old but still a fine piece.

Gorrammit, now I’m going to have to read “Chasers” and see how it comperes to that other story.  (By the way, due to contest restrictions, I’ve stopped using the titles of any of my unpublished stories on my blog, just in case I enter one in a contest.  WotF is the most notable option, but there are others.)  I’ll let everyone know what I sent after I send it, since that seems the only way I’ll know for sure.

Progress and egress

Why is it that when I’m making great progress on a story, I somehow find the irresistible urge to take a break to tell people I’m making great progress?  That’s what’s going on now, a brief exit from my work to brag about how well I’m working. Self inflicted irony.

To be honest, the act of stringing well-turned phrases together is exhausting.  Some good character development through a beat of action followed by a surgically placed infodump while the character stews followed by a brief laugh and into some significant foreshadowing, more revealing dialog, and a plot milestone all while fitting a little sex into the scene break.  Of course none of that happens while I write.  Okay, very little of it.  That’s the fruit of revision.  Brilliant as Heinlein was, I can’t work with his revise-only-to-editor-request method.  I’m more like a cake decorator, globbing the story on there in one big hunk then going back with the spatula to smooth it out (and later with the frosting gun or flowers or doilies or whatever).

It often happens to me with a story that I get 40-70% of the way through and just stall out because the story lost its inertia.  I have two fixes for that.  One, cut the last page or two out and try again with focus on building up speed.  I use that tactic playing RollerCoaster Tycoon, too.

The second thing I try is going back to the beginning with that spatula and trying to make the story flow as smoothly as possible for as long as possible.  That was my approach tonight.  The characters weren’t developed, the subplots (we’re talking novella or at least novelette) weren’t connecting, and I was getting a whole “who cares” vibe about my main character.  I know he’s the right character, but I was making the action center around someone else.

I started by changing the very first scene.  Same people, same plot points, but the staging was different.  Instead of waiting outside the front door the character was asleep in a bed.  I streamlined the story-pushing infodump in favor of more setting information.  That changed the transition to the next scene and poured a whole lot more emotion (and less melodrama) into scene two.  It also helped roll into scene three without stopping the action and starting again, a very good thing considering how brief that scene is.  In fact I think I managed to remove three or four line breaks (the blank line or # or ***) from my story’s first couple thousand words.  Nothing wrong with a hard break like that, they just seem like a crosswalk in the middle of the story.  Too many and you can hardly drive for fear of running someone over.  (Worst thing about Gatlinburg.)

This process, for me, involves a lot of cut-and-paste, usually out of the story and into a blank document.  I highlight a section that’s working, paste it in, then trim it like a bonsai sculptor to make it what I want it to be.  Then I find another section that was working and figure out how to string them together better than I had the first time.  Often it’s a matter of replacing creative language with straightforward explanations.  Other times it’s changing the angle of approach: an angry character becomes scared instead, an empty street becomes a bustling marketplace, a nameless pawn’s words come out of an important character’s mouth.  Alton Brown (my Food Network hero) refuses to buy a kitchen tool that will only do one job.  I try to do that with story elements, exchange unitaskers for multitaskers.  Sometimes this means combining elements into one, others it’s changing where the story was going to flow more naturally from one important element.  The same ring that turned Frodo invisible also attracted the Nazgul, weakened his resolve, turned allies against him, lured his guide, gave reason to distrust that guide, and was the ultimate goal of his trek.  It got him in trouble and out of trouble (more in, really).  That’s what I want out of inanimate objects in my stories, too.  They seldom (never) go that far.

Well, a quarter after midnight and I’m off to frost more story.  And no, the first draft isn’t done yet.  I think this one’s at 40%.  Shameful, I know.  And a lot of my frosting job will actually be removing unnecessary portions of the cake I’ve already made.  And yes, I’ll just have to write more cake that I’ll have to frost later.  But this process works for me better than forcing the cake into the oven and hoping I can frost it all at once.  There are likely better systems, but this one has me happy for now.  That’s all I can really ask.

Redactions

I just went back through my blog and did some redactions, just to play it safe.  There was a title I don’t want associated with my name because….

…I’m a finalist for Writers of the Future!!!!!

My story, along with seven others, goes to a few big shot pro writers to be judged for the three big prizes (including inclusion in the anthology).

Too psyched to type more.  Woohoo!

The good, the bad, and the oops

Well, I’ve been at the hotel for my wife’s photography convention since Sunday and I’ve done some writing.  (This qualifies as good.)  I started to look through some unfinished work to see if there was anything I could modify or fix up to submit to the Clarions.  I found a few novel chapters that I had abandoned because it was so tough to write.

The novel was very slow-going because it was a comedy in the vein of Douglas Adams: lots of farsical situations and overblown hyperbole and just ridiculous science.  That’s hard to write, especially at the rate that the jokes were flying the first few pages (jokes, not necessarily laughs).  Well, I decided to try to turn that into a short story.  Hey, I was having trouble transitioning anyway, so why not?

Now the first draft of that story is complete (good!), half of it spliced together from pieces of a few false starts, the other half fresh writing.  And the  count on this draft is…6600 words/35 pages.  Oops.  I was aiming for 6000/30.

I think I can go back and cut and/or shorten some sections (good), but possibly at the cost of some of the jokes (that’s bad–all the story’s got going for it is the jokes).  I won’t be subbing it anyplace until I get some commentary from OWW or even Baen’s Bar (I hear they’re still operating for critiques) as my sense of humor is not reknowned for being universally appreciated.  If this stuff isn’t funny, I’ve wasted my whole writing spree (bad!!!).

I need to let it sit a few days before trying to edit.  I’ll poke my nose back in some other work tonight, maybe try paring down ***** some more for Clarion.  And who knows what else is hiding on this hard drive, waiting to become a 6000-word or less story?

Trouble with numbers

Maybe I’ve been aiming at Writers of the Future too much, but I’m having trouble finding stories to submit to Clarion and Clarion West.  My stuff is just too long.  The story I just finished is 8000 words, 33% too long for a C-SD story and quite a few pages longer than CW wants.  “***************” (still hate the title) came in at 6600 and 34 pages, still too much for either.  The naked man story will be at least novelette length, so finishing that up isn’t going to help.

Stay with me while I think out loud…or skip to the next paragraph.  I sent “Leech Run” last year, so that’s out.  I have “Secondhand Rush” that’s shorter (3000 words or so?) but I wrote most of that maybe five years ago.  It did pull an honorable mention from WotF, but so did “Leech Run” and I didn’t quite make it.  “Brother Goo” is kiddy stuff and very derivative, by intent but still out.  I don’t think “How Quickly We Forget” is quite strong enough to send and it’s too short for C-SD.  “Excuse Me” is too…well, it sold to The Rejected Quarterly, so…  If I need to go short-ish, “Faerie Belches” is probably my next strongest piece, again a little too short for C-SD; it’s kiddy stuff, too, but more original.  I’m not happy enough with “__________” to send that.  Maybe I could check the word count on “Chasers”…but that was published in an anthology called Triangulation 2004.

Bottom line, I need to get a new story from zero to publishable in about two months.  Don’t get me wrong, if “****” comes up big in WotF, I’m sending it.  I have an edit that pulls it down to 6200 words (I think) and 32.5 pages.  (It’s hard to remember; I’m a math teacher and not real good with numbers.)  It looks like I need a new idea, something deep enough to inspire a story with umph.  I thought of using my fear of snow-driving as a catalyst (hence the rambling blog post a couple days ago), but it hasn’t taken me anywhere yet.  I have a few little vampire ideas in my head, but really?  Okay, one is pretty good.  No actual vampires needed, but I haven’t found the speculative angle to it yet.  Nothing says it needs one specifically, but I’d like to sell it somewhere.  It’s not a story I need to write, so it’s probably not the one I’m looking for.  Nor is the zombie idea.

I don’t seem to have any good science fiction ideas floating around my brain.  Too bad, because I think I do sci-fi better than fantasy or horror.  I’ve definitely sold more.  Even that wacky talking hat of a Christmas present hasn’t given me any good ideas.

I’m playing writer for the next few days.  All day, typitty-typitty-tap-tap.  (Note to self: still need to send in lesson plans to school.)  It’ll be out of town so maybe the change in scenery will help.  Not a workshop or anything, just escorting my wife to a photography conference.  I need to get something at least planned and started while I’m there.  I’ll bring along some science stuff to get the old brain rolling: Popular Science (because no one writes stories from those ideas, right?), a Michio Kaku book or two, explorations into the fourth dimension, light reading like that.  Not that any of it matters.  Ideas hit when and where they please.  I got an idea for a whole novel based off the title of a book I bought out of a bargain bin(And no, my idea was in no way related to the book in question.)

Maybe I’ll try some workshop techniques.  I could interview a stranger.  Maybe I’ll end up with a photography story idea and be in the perfect place for inspiration.  We’ll see.  Until then I’ll be trying to finish up some lingering projects.  And praying we can get the car up the hill and out of the subdivision.