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Things other than Communism that sound better on paper

April 18, 2010
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I was going to try to kick my way-overboard caffeine habit this weekend. I made it 30 hours.

I got hit with the obligatory debilitating headache around 4 AM Saturday (still Friday night to me) after avoiding the big C all that day.  I woke up miserable but intending to fight through it.  Then my wife pointed out my schedule for the next few weeks.  I drove to the nearest market for a two liter Mountain Dew.

Let’s break the schedule down.  Next Saturday is the much-blogged-about Praxis tests that will determine whether I will teach a creative writing class or not.  I need to be to the campus, registered, and seated by 7:30 that morning.  (Is that possible without caffeine?)  Between now and then I have to be sure I am ready for said test, which means cramming like I haven’t crammed since I was an undergrad over a decade ago.  (More caffeine.) Oh, and I am teaching my Algebra students to use the graphing calculators we JUST got…and they need to be proficient by May 3rd if they’re going to be worth the effort at all.  (Caffeine may not be strong enough to help clean those stables….no charge for the random Hercules reference.)

I could have navigated this weekend with the hangover-from-hell style headache, but it would have sucked, and I ran the risk of scarring my daughter for life in reaction to her very natural tantrums.  (Worst case scenario, but you get the picture.)

On top of all that, I’m trying to write a novel (ha!), teaching regular classes, raising a three-year-old, enduring feuds, scrimping to save money to afford the new car we bought (Kia Sorento, quite nice)…I even mowed the lawn today.  So I have much going on.  I need not add caffeine withdrawl to the mix, so I won’t.  We’ll save that for the future.

Full disclosure: I have been caffeinated most of my life, but the few times I was able to wean myself, I really had a lot more energy.  Unfortunately, even though the headaches dry up after a couple days, the energy boost takes a week or three to really kick in.  So yes, I intend to get there eventually and try to stick with it when I do, but it’s a tough bridge to cross.

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