Grammar: more important now then it was than

I have critiqued a great many stories in my time.  I started out in a small critique circle through OSC’s Hatrack River website: just a group of guys that wanted to write taking turns commenting on each others’ stories.  Then came my extended stint with Critters.  Now I find myself with OWW.  Over the nine years or so that I’ve been doing this, I have found a few basic grammatical errors that keep popping back up, things that should have been mastered in high school.

Then/Than: It is one of the most frequent mistakes I see.  It usually strikes the less common definition(s) of “then”.

First I’ll take a shower, then I’ll eat breakfast.

If monkeys could talk, then they could tell us what it feels like to have a tail.

It was then that I saw she wasn’t wearing her wedding ring.

Form a brute squad, then.

All of these were correct uses of T-H-E-N.  It is used when referring to a time, usually in the past or future.  It also is used (as in the fourth example) when it is time for a new option.  Its use often has a “that being the case” connotation, as in the if-then construction in the second example above.  Any or all of these have been accidentally replaced with T-H-A-N in supposedly polished manuscripts.

She was shorter than her sister.

Rather than risk soiling his new shoes, he wore the old ones everywhere he went.

Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

These are appropriate cases for T-H-A-N.  I see these missed less often (likely because they are themselves less common constructions in fiction), though it was an error in one of these constructions that inspired this post.

Basically, folks, THEN refers to time or condition while THAN is used in comparisons.

To/Too: These little words have so many uses, it’s tough to keep up.  I get it.  Sentence constructions using the latter can be complex.  It can be tough.  Still, writers work with words.  Would you want to buy from a chef that didn’t know when to use butter and when to use shortening?  Same thing, right?

This porridge is too hot.

Michael will have to testify, too.

Oh, you are just too kind.

The T-O-O form has two major uses.  It may mean an excess in amount or quality (first and third) or it might mean “as well” or “also” (second case).  I have been told that the comma is necessary for the “as well” usage but find that, in practice, it isn’t that big a deal…at least in fiction.

As for T-O, well, it has such a diverse set of uses that I won’t attempt to list them. For the most part, it is used when you don’t want “as well” or an expression of quantity or quality (or the number 2 which is T-W-O, but I don’t see that missed much).

Mostly I see TO where TOO belongs.  This is probably the second most common misstep I see.  Maybe it’s typos rather than ignorance (errors spellcheck won’t catch).  I hope it is.  I am a teacher, after all.

Their There are other mistakes that can effect affect my enjoyment of a story, accept except they tend to be rarer.  But don’t loose lose faith; just watch you’re your homonyms, folks.  🙂

-Oso

A couple quick odds and ends

The neat thing about having a story in the BU slush at Baen’s Bar is the chance to rewrite a story based on the feedback it receives, then just toss it back out there.  I’ve been rewriting “Leech Run” based on some fairly harsh criticism, much more to the point than Critters has ever been.  I am fairly happy with the rewrite except for the one transition paragraph I need to rework to get rid of the lies.  (I didn’t mean to lie, but the story flowed better that way.)  I hope to have the rewrite posted there Monday.

While exploring other writer’s blogs, I discovered a post from someone exclaiming his delight at being selected for the Clarion workshop.  I was a bit dejected seeing as I haven’t heard anything yet and the submission deadline has not quite arrived.  It got me very nervous, twitchy.  Then I reread the post and discovered it was from two years ago.  😐  It felt sheepish.  I hadn’t realized how much I was counting on being accepted.  I may not be and I know it.  I just need to receive my official verdict so I can move on with planning my life…or at least my summer.

That’s all for now.  More soon.

-Oso

Critters online workshop

A long time ago (six years?), I went looking for a way to improve my writing. I looked around online (where else does one look these days?) and discovered the existence of workshops. This was where I discovered Clarion and its ilk, but I wasn’t ready for that and couldn’t begin to afford it. Fortunately I also I discovered Critters.org.

Critters is the world’s largest critique group (to my knowledge). It’s definitely the most open. Anyone can join and all stories can be critiqued as long as you critique a minimum average number of other people’s manuscripts — about three a month. I must confess, the first time I had a story critiqued by the group, it was politely demolished. Gradually the comments grew more positive, and now I find most of them say more good than bad.

Oh there’s always a few that carry an air of hostility, as if nothing written by anyone but them will ever be worth publishing. And there are others that just don’t prefer a specific story. But by and large, Critters leads me to believe my writing has come a long way. But what good are atta-boy comments to me?

Critters does a great job of letting me know if a story is confusing or if the pace is too slow (athough some people want every story to be a Jason Statham movie), or catching spelling and/or grammar mistakes. The members spot POV problems well, devour opportunities to say “show-don’t-tell”, and never miss a chance to question dialogue mechanics. These can be helpful because authors frequently are blind to these issues in their own work. I still run almost every story through the queue at Critters for this kind of advice plus the infrequent gem of insight someone drops in my lap.

What Critters can’t tell me is whether a story is ready to sell. Many Critters members have sold stories, but do they know what made their work saleable and what makes their other stories rejection magnets? I sure don’t. I like to think it’s a difference in taste, but I doubt it. I am confident that I am making significant errors that are fixable but invisible, often even invisible to the rejecting editor. Critters is yet to help me with those problems.

It’s not that I haven’t received comments that could push me in the right direction. I probably have. But which ones? I like to think (naively) that comments I offer to other writers are in the top quartile of significance (everyone knows they are the smartest, right?), but how is a writer to know how brilliant my comments are? Or are they rubbish? If ten people tell me that a speech pattern is hard to understand, I will probably change it. If three tell me it’s hard to understand, three rave about how perfect it is, another points out the misspellings the dialect created (without mentioning dialect at all), and two don’t even mention it, what is a boy to do?

This blog entry is not designed to disrespect Critters. Far from it, I advocate Critters to any writer, beginners to pros. What I want to do is make some suggestions on how to use it as a writer. Some day, I will assemble my thoughts on how to approach Critters as a critiquer (arguably a more valuable angle).

  1. Investigate the accuracy of line edits. Do you really need a semicolon there, or will your original comma be sufficient? What is the specific definition of the word they recommended? These people may be English professors or burger flippers and it’s important to remember that fiction has room for the styles of either. Characters end sentences with prepositions and should. Even narrators should. “Correct” may not be the best way to write. After all, “Woe is I,” is the grammatically correct sentence. But the burger-flipper may not be the guy to listen to, either. Sentence structures should be varied while still being clear. Some people want every sentence to follow the same build, as if they will be expected to diagram them and want to know where each part lies. Look it up before you change it.
  2. Never take a critter’s word as law. One person may say something that makes you slap your head and say “why didn’t I see that?” Don’t change anything yet. Consider everyone’s comments first. A problem in the story’s middle may not be caused by the writing in the middle. In my experience, Critters tend to notice different problems surrounding the same part of a story. They all suggest different fixes. Often those suggestions will fix one problem but not the others. Look for the fix that will take care of everything. Maybe that means merging two characters into one (seldom suggested to me despite the usefulness of the exercise) or merging two scenes or sometimes as simple as changing a few words. This is a vague comment but is the key to gleaning useful information from a cluster of critiques.
  3. How is the critiquer’s writing? A few typos aren’t a big deal, but if it’s tough to decipher what a critique is saying, do you want to take its advice on how to clarify your story?
  4. Sometimes the places that they “don’t know how to fix it” are the places that need the most attention. Think about it, an editor can request a rewrite with a shorter chase scene or with the flashback cut or a thousand words shorter. They can’t say “fix the part on page seven that seems not right for some reason”. I guess they could say that, but they won’t. Rewrites aren’t sales, but they are wanna-buys. If they like it but can’t put a finger on why they can’t buy it as-is, they’ll end up passing. So trust people who scratch their heads in places (in accordance with number two), they may be the most valuable comments you get.
  5. If someone is tactless, they probably don’t know what they are talking about. Critter’s policy is to use diplomatic language, expressing every thought as the critiquer’s opinion rather than hard fact. Some things will come across a little harsh (no one wants to read ten thousand IMOs), but you know when someone thinks they are God’s authority on publishing. If they were so smart, they wouldn’t be messing up the Critter’s policy. Still, you should read their comments. Almost every critique has value, if only to reinforce the comments of others.
  6. Don’t take it too seriously. Most of these people are far more focused on their own writing than they are on yours. Why should they like your story? You brought it to them to look for the flaws, they have nothing else invested in it. Editors at least want to like your story when they read it. Hey, I don’t like most of the stories I read on Critters. I only like about half of the ones I read in magazines. My opinion is worthless to you; my complaints and advice (combined with everyone else’s) can help you improve your story tremendously.

If you use it wisely, Critters can make your stories (and your writing in general) much better. It did mine. But it takes a lot more to make them good.

-Oso