headaches and toothaches

I am at a place where I am trying to capture pieces of my life and store them away for future stories, either as major themes or minor plot elements.  Today I was trying to catalog things associated with pain.

I got a migraine during school today.  I know, it sucks.  I don’t get the monster migraines with the haloed vision and such, but they aren’t pleasant.  They make me want to pull my face off my skull and scrape the inside of my skull as if the pain is some barnacle clinging inside.  Loud noises make me want to weep like a baby.  My balance is off; I’m dizzy; my gag reflex works overtime at the mere thought of swallowing anything, even my migraine medicine.  I feel claustrophobic in even the most open spaces, like there’s a low shelf I can’t quite see right in front of my forehead, waiting to bump me and increase my agony.  The uses in a story are endless, be it for someone with a hangover or something else.

As for the dentist, it didn’t really hurt.  Novocaine is good for that.  There was a moment when I felt something pain-like, almost a cold itch where the anesthetic was wearing off.  That could be descriptively useful, too.

More interesting, though, is my tendency to fall asleep in the dentist chair.  There’s something about the angle of decline, head being a tad lower than my feet, blood rushing into the brain combined with the numbness around the nose.  It’s soothing in an alien-abduction kind of way.  I like the parallel, actually, though I hate alien abduction stories as a rule.  Surely there will be other uses for it.

What’s the point to all this?  Nothing, really.  Just a sample of the experiences I am stockpiling.  I am, however, curious whether this sleepy-at-the-dentist thing is common or if I’m just weird.  I also want to try out the polling feature on my blog.  So please, let me know how you handle the chair.

the actual rejection

For purposes of comparison, I am posting the contents of my rejection below. I hope that doesn’t offend anyone (including Clarion SD personnel). If it does, tell me and I’ll take it down; I’m not looking to step on anyone’s toes here. I simply wonder whether they all say the same thing or not, especially the way this one is worded. It’s very nice and feels halfway between personal and form, like there are two or three different rejection emails depending on your score. 

Dear Scott Baker:

Thank you for applying for the 2009 Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers’ Workshop at UC San Diego. Your application has been carefully reviewed. We regret to inform you that you have not been selected for admission. However, the admissions panel feels that you work shows promise and says you came “very close” to being admitted. The reviewers encourage you to keep writing and to reapply in 2010.

Thank you for your interest in Clarion.

Cordially,

Tania Mayer
Program Coordinator
 

This was received three days after the posted deadline for notifying acceptances.  Feel free to compare your message to mine.  I’m curious if they are different.  You can post your letter in a comment if you like.  Whatever.  

For those of you that, like me, got a thanks-but-no-thanks, keep writing and stay in touch.  If we work together, we can all get in next year.  Or better yet, succeed without any workshop but each other.

-Oso

My Clarion SD Fate

Finally.  It’s a no.  I’m a little surprised since I though my application was stronger for SD than for Seattle, where I was waitlisted.  But reviews are subjective and there are some definite weaknesses in “Leech Run” and “Glow Baby” starts out fairly slow.  So I understand.  I won’t sneeze at my waitlisting for CW.  Maybe a slot will open for me, maybe it won’t.

So now what?  I guess I’ll check the usual suspect websites for the fates of others to offer congratulations or share condolences.  Then it’s back to writing.  It’s about time to finish up drafting my Kree story so I can enter the much more scientific editing process.  I should probably resume work on a novel, probably my military clone novel (wipe that Star Wars image out of your mind) as it seems the most promising.  The workshops had me focused on short fiction for a while.

I’m thinking of applying for Uncle Orson’s Literary Boot Camp.  It’s just a week, but it’s like $750 without room or board.  

I’m definitely going to investigate the convention circuit, trying to hone in on the most writer-friendly.  If anyone can offer recommendations, I’d be glad to hear.  Closer is better, but I have family in Dallas (not at all close to my end of Tennessee).  

Assuming no spots open at CW (the assumption I must run with for my own sanity), I’ll at least consider applying next year.  Circumstances may prevent me, but ambition won’t.  Unless I make it big before 2010.  Ha!

Congratulations and good luck to those that were accepted into Clarion, East or West.  

-Oso

The things you find…

I was surfing the contents of my own harddrive, as I am prone to do every so often, and rediscovered an old story of mine.  It was so old the byline was S. Winfield Baker rather than Scott W. Baker.  I don’t remember submitting it anywhere and I have no record of sending it out, but I had gone to the trouble of typing “Disposable Manuscript” at the top.

It was a story set in a world where people choose to save themselves as computer programs before they die, that signalling the end of their “fleshtime” but not their lifetime since they live forever as programs.  The idea was that exciting memories would be hot commodities for the program-people since they can’t do exciting stuff.  Even if they could, they lacked the adrenaline to truly enjoy thrills.  Memories of thrills from their fleshtime were the closest they could get.  These memories end up no more than computer files and can be transferred to others.  If someone in storage had real money (useless inside the program), they could pay flesh people to do what they wanted to remember in exchange for the right to acquire that memory.  I’m not sure it took that many words to describe the setting in the story.

Anyway, I had put the story away as not SF enough.  Can you believe it?  Sure the guy doing the stunt is a real person and doing stuff that is (kind of) feasible in present society, but the story falls apart without the speculative elements.

It’s a better story than I ever gave it credit for being.  I don’t think it’s pro-calibur, but I’ll probably brush it up and circulate it through some semi-pro zines.  I may Critter it first.  Some of the techniques were clever.  I wonder if I did them intentionally.

  • The story is a memory that is interrupted a few times by program-people chatting in text-like format.
  • The story is told in first person, the flesh person being the POV character.
  • It’s really supposed to be the memory roughly as perceived by the program-person.  The sensory events are good but need more tastes and smells.
  • The POV character is part of a clever little subculture.

It’s not brilliant, but it’s cute.  A little disturbing, too.  It might have more meaning in it than some of my better stories.  Death, as a theme, often plays well.  This story gives a reasonable first person account of dying since the memory is transferred to someone else.  The explanation of why everyone can’t do that needs a lot more strength, but otherwise I was pleasantly surprised by this old story.  We’ll see what comes of it.

-Oso

greetings lurkers

It has come to my attention that, since about 7:00 last night, the hits on this blog have been flowing in at record pace.  I suspect that, like me, there are lots of you looking for hints of Clarion SD acceptances and rejections.   You are most welcome here.  There aren’t a lot of sites or blogs talking about it right now, while I won’t shut up about it.  Feel free to look around, maybe leave a comment.  A little dialog could help us pass the time.

We are past Clarion’s published deadline for contacting accepted candidates.  But what are we going to do, decline an invitation because it’s too late?  I’m sure that something important or unexpected came up to delay our results.  Maybe they still don’t know.  (One slow reviewer or one lost-in-the-mail set of reviews would really slow things down.  A computer crash would be devastating.  I’m not saying any of these things happened, but I’m trying to view my apprehension through sympathetic eyes.  I’m not very good at it.

If anyone has any news — even if you aren’t supposed to share it — I’d love to know that you know something.  You can whisper it in my ear.  I have heard of one acceptance that was requested not to make the news public.  This is third-hand information and worth what you pay for it, but it’s the only hint I’ve heard.  I have found evidence of no rejections.

I am waitlisted for Seattle, but who wants to sit and wait?  I’ll be happy at either workshop, I just want to know.  Chances of me sliding in to CW can’t be better than fifty-fifty.  I’m really pulling for Clarion to come through for me.  In the words of Willy Wonka, “The suspense is terrible…I hope it lasts.”  Only without the second part.

In the meantime, introduce yourselves.  Share your knowledge or your stress.  We’re all looking for a community of writers.  Accepted or rejected, we can start that community now.

-Oso

My wait is over…or not

Ever waited a really long time for something just to realize you have to wait some more?  Welcome to my world.

I got an email from Clarion West.  I’ve been waitlisted.  This means that if John Doe is accepted, says he’s going, then develops a case of malaria that prevents him from attending, I’m in.  Actually it is reasonable that someone would drop out of a six-week event like Clarion West.  Job issues, money issues, love life issues, spontaneous success, spontaneous combustion…lots of possibilities.  I do not wish these issues on anyone, but if they come up, I’m here.

It’s not clear how long the waitlist is.  Just me?  Two or three of us?  A whole minor league team worth?  Do I get a call for any dropout or just another male?  I guess the issue is merely academic.

Still no word from San Diego.  It should come tomorrow.  I’m still holding out hope.  I really think that application was stronger.  We’ll see.

Good luck to the Clarion West class of 2009.  I’ll be watching for your names in the big zines; you watch out for mine.  It will be there.

-Oso

Aaarrgh! (cry of frustration, not disappointment)

Still no word.  It’s like waiting for a response for a wedding proposal.  All the emotional investment hangs on one answer and the !@#$**! response won’t come.  Thecarrier pidgeon probably got eaten by a bird.

I am taking my last-minute contact as a sign that I am a borderline talent.  Maybe I’m on the waiting list.  Maybe I’m in the “which four of these eight do we want” stack.  Maybe I wrote the wrong phone numer or email address on my application.  Regardless, my rejection couldn’t have been an easy decision, at least from CW.  I have no confirmation yet as to whether Clarion (east) has started informing their rejects.

My West application was confirmed as received on the sixth of January.  That’s right, January.  My East app, February sixth.  We’ll see if six is my lucky number or not.  Damn, these workshops sure know how to make a guy sweat.

So I wait.  I’m not alone; Jamie, Sandra (I think), and others wait with me.  It’s still lonely, not knowing.

-Oso

Last Chance Saloon

Leslie Howle, Clarion West director, posted a message in the CW forum.  she said good stuff about how many deserving candidates they have this year and how hard the selection process has been…but the part I found most interesting was her statement about how they would finalize the class this week.  *swallows hard*  So Clarion should be letting people know by Friday and CW is letting people know by…what, Saturday?  Monday at the latest.

So it’s down to the wire.  Things aren’t looking good for me and Clarion.  Apparently Clarion east acceptees are being asked to keep things quiet until everyone has been contacted, so who knows how many of those slots are left.  I wait as calmly as I can (which is not very) for the phone to ring.  It hasn’t yet.

I haven’t given up.  The CW list only has about six or seven names.  I’ll get through this week, then know what my summer holds.  Fast track to professional markets, or the slow track.  That’s pretty much the difference.

-Oso

Finally saw Watchmen

209px-posterfeb1aI wanted to rush out opening weekend, but I’m too old for that kind of thing.  Me in a packed theater with a hundred people who could already tell you what they did wrong before the previews started…nope.  Mostly because I couldn’t get a sitter.

Let me preface my opinions with the fact that I have never read the graphic novel.  I have only read blurb comments from other reviewers.  This is 99% my own unbiased theatrical experience.

It was awesome.

This film will stay logged as an example of character development.  Heroes always have dark pasts, but the differences in how they deal with the darkness is stunning.  I will try to stay spoiler-free, so if I reveal something, it’s because it happens early.  Like the Comedian’s death.  It was a stroke of brilliance on someone’s part that a character that dies in the opening sequence can be as vile as you can make him without havng to worry about lost sympathy.  No matter how much I disliked him, I didn’t have to worry about his comeuppance; it already happened.  And his jaded, villainous character was still unquestionably a hero.  The casting for him was excellent.

In fact, all the casting was great.  Ozymandias may have been a little on the model side, but it kind of worked.  The nerdy Nite Owl, the too sexy to be that naked Silk Spectre…but Rorschach stole the show for me.  Hard core to the verge of evil yet held fast to a very personal code.  The subtle elements (like Nite Owl’s problem with…wait, no spoilers) were nicely worked in and believable.

Let’s not forget Dr. Manhattan.  I told my wife I was going to shave my body and paint myself blue for Halloween.  She laughed.  Apparently I lack his physique.  It’s good to know, however, that if I am atomized in some nuclear experiment and come back glowing blue, at least I will be anatomically correct.  No Ken dolls here.  Anyway, his character was interesting in his alienness, especially the struggle to maintain humanity.  I think that could have been done better (read: more subtly), but it was pretty good as it was.  He maintains concern (at least feigned) for humanity while losing his ability to connect with anyone human-to-human.  No more on that, but again, this is all setup, not major storyline developments.

The film’s execution was fantastic, a little CGI heavy at moments, moments that really called attention to the moments of CGI-free action.  In otherwords, I felt a couple soundstages looked like soundstages (burning building) while other scenes looked like screensavers (that big thing of Manhattan’s).  But 90% of the film maintained a good balance.  The shots that were ripped straight from comic art were excellent.

I can’t talk about the movie without talking about what caught me most off guard: the sex.  Nite owl gets naked (with a glimpse of everything), Silk Spectre gets naked (thank you for that), Dr. Manhattan is usually naked, and there are some other moments more Desperate Houswives than they are HBO.  As my wife put it, “I didn’t expect that much naked.  It wasn’t all just gratuitous flesh; the scenes were plot-line appropriate and tastefully done (except for the one that wasn’t supposed to be tasteful).  My wife and I both approved.  She also approved of the taste of reality the women’s bodies had (faces had wrinkles, breasts were not plastic, etc.).  All in all, a nice tablespoon of sex to go with the plateful of violence.

There were images that were quite graphic (violence side here, we stopped talking about sex; keep up).  Blades, broken bones, doge, innards…but nothing so grotesque as to churn my notoriously weak stomach.  I cringed but never cowered.  I probably have a higher threshold for violence in my cinema than many people, but my threshold for gore is at or below population average.  Still, some harsh situations (Rorschach’s backstory, Comedian and Jupiter).  I get worse feelings watching 24 on FOX.

To sum up, it was an excellent movie for those that likedark and gritty in their superhero stories.  It’s got great character development, varied characters, a much more complete story than 300, more grit than any X-men movie ever will, the right dose of sex for audiences that believe such exists, and no big name actors to pack the seats.  That’s right, none.  Malin Akerman (Silk Spectre) will probably make it big off of this and Jackie Earle Haley’s notoriety should spike (Rorschach), as should Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s (Comedian or Denny on Grey’s Anatomy).  Those are my predictions.  I also expected Lord of the Rings to make a box office draw out of Viggo Mortenson…so consider my track record.

That’s all for now.  I may break it down a bit more in the future, say when the BluRay comes out.  So much more to say but I don’t want to spoil it.  Especially you writers out there, watch this film.  It’s good.

-Oso