Not the Marvel the first was

~ Scott W. Baker ~ 5 Comments

Saw Iron Man 2 today.  Not bad.  Not great, but not bad.

Robert Downey, Jr. and Mickey Rourke both put in excellent performances.  Don Cheadle was fine, but he wasn’t given a whole lot to work with.  It felt like his best lines were cut either out of the script or the film.  Gwyneth Paltrow’s Pepper Pots was whiney and annoying.  Scarlett Johansson’s character was unnecessary and gratuitous, and I say this from the perspective of someone who had a fair amount of gratitude.  Sexy as hell, but a bit pointless.  And her booty was enhanced…again, not that I’m complaining.

Other actors’ performances registered even lower on the Richter scale.  Samuel L. Jackson felt like a cameo the whole way despite having at least twenty lines.  Sam Rockwell (played Tony Stark’s competitor) was annoying and poorly written, being either competent or incompetent as the script required.  Even minor roles (Happy Hogan and Agent Coulson) were cardboard and silly.

The acting simply lacked depth, no thanks to writing that offered depth only to a character or two.  I wonder if there’s a director’s cut with a more complete story.  Effects, at least, were as good as expected; not Avatar but good.

When the first Iron Man came out, I expected an explosion-packed roller coaster ride with some snarky comments and lots of cheese.  What the film delivered was a complex if narcissistic hero in a well-developed story with poor acting y the villain (sorry, Jeff Bridges).  So for the sequel, I expected a more complex story with more personalized character depth and some new toys that go boom.

More toys, check, though not much was made out of them.  Complex story?   Hah!  Not even.  On top of that, every opportunity to explore a character other than Tony Stark was promptly brushed aside in favor of more drunken antics from the protagonist.  Somehow Rourke transcended this and delivered his darkly sinister Russian physicist with some complexity, mostly achieved through facial expression and silence.

So, was it worth it?  I went to a matinee, so sure.  It was better than Transformers 2, nowhere near Avatar or either recent Batman film, beat the pants off both Hulk films, dropped square in the middle of the Spiderman franchise (with better effects than the webslinger), and fell short of my appreciation for the GI Joe film (which I actually liked).  Most importantly, it fell short of the first Iron Man.  It was a typical summer-blockbuster-sequel-type film with a couple standout performances and a little eye candy (don’t forget the sexy US Marshal…who is Kate Mara?).  Little more than that.  But don’t expect too much and you’ll have a fun night at the movies.

It’s out there…in more ways than one

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It’s long overdue, but I just sent my space opera comedy out on its first flight to an editor.  In the tradition I’ve been using, we’ll refer to the story by its initials: TWHDotGMP.  Yes, I am particularly fond of that title.

The story is absurdly satirical without being derivative.  Think the anti-Han Solo walking into Mos Eisley on steroids (the latter is on steroids, not the former).  Wacky hi-jinks ensue.  It was largely inspired by my old role playing group despite none of the characters quite fitting their original molds (except perhaps Hugo).

Comedic space opera is a tough fit and I had trouble deciding where to send it.  I elected to start with Strange Horizons.  The only other pro markets to register on Duotrope’s search for sci-fi humor were Asimov’s (where I currently have a story under scrutiny) and F&SF (who does not accept electronic submissions).  They will be markets 2 and 3 on my list for this story while I keep my eyes open for other candidates.  ASIM is probably high on my semi-pro list, largely due to recent success there (but no sale yet).  No reason to speculate further just now.  Maybe we’ll never get that far.

I feel sheepish

~ Scott W. Baker ~ 1 Comment

No literal sheep here, just embarrassment.  

In my most recent sale to Every Day Fiction I changed the character’s name in mid story.  I didn’t catch it, the editor didn’t catch it.  Thank goodness it wasn’t print media.  The offending name change has been corrected but the evidence remains in the comments, as well it probably should.

“The Drake’s Eye” isn’t the shortest story I ever sold, but it is probably the one I spent the least time on…even less than I spent on “In or Out”, a 69-word story that received the best reviews of my career despite never earning me a dime.  I spent maybe three hours on TDE.  That’s a dollar an hour.  I can retire on that, right?  Apparently I should have spent another ten minutes.  

For the record, the names “Lucas” and “Jacob” read very similarly with that hard C in the middle.  I don’t remember if I changed the name from Jacob to Lucas and didn’t finish the search-and-replace or if I just mentally flipped names for no reason.  Regardless, it’s a silly mistake that should have been caught but wasn’t, an embarrassing reminder that the world is not perfect and neither am I.  Like I need that reminder.

The best reason to query overdue responses

~ Scott W. Baker ~ 6 Comments

I was sitting at my computer, procrastinating my bedtime, and decided to query Every Day Fiction about a story I’d had out to them for 77 days.  In my experience, queries usually grease the wheels of rejection and free up stories for other markets.  I originally thought EDF would likely buy this story (especially since I’ve never taken the steps to collect payment from them on the first story they bought), but I’ve given up on overconfidence.  So I queried.

Apparently the story had already been accepted and my response was lost in cyberspace (probably blocked by a spam filter that couldn’t prevent a boatload of canned meat from docking in my inbox).  Moreover, the story hits the web tomorrow!  (That’s probably today by this point!)

Yes, friends, “Drake’s Eye” will be EDF’s story of the day on May 6th.  (If you missed it, it’ll be up for a while.)

That is what I call a well timed query.  I could have missed my own publication.  Whew.

So now I need to share this info with the world before said world wakes tomorrow and misses my mini-glory.  Consider yourself informed.

Asimov’s enters the 21st century

~ Scott W. Baker ~ 2 Comments

I’m not the first to crow about it, but Asimov’s is accepting electronic submissions.  Hoorah!  It’s the same system Clarkesworld and Lightspeed use, though it’s hard to imagine they’ll rival those markets’ rejection times.

So I did what everyone else is doing and sent in a story.  G.B., actually.  Long shot, but it’s really a wild card story that could snag interest anywhere…or nowhere.  We shall see.

I still need to toss L.R. back out there.  Not sure where.  Maybe I’ll zoom in sometime this week and get it back out.  Apparently Clarion West liked it better than they liked “Poison Inside the Walls”, so it must have something.  *sigh*  Why did I pick such a frustrating dream.  It could be worse; I could have aimed at becoming a screen writer.  Or an actor.  A rock star.  Ballet dancer…

Very late so short post

~ Scott W. Baker ~ 3 Comments

Queried Ann VanderMeer at Weird Tales, an act that sped up the rejection of G.B.  I guess that frees it up for other markets now.  It’s an odd fit anywhere.  I almost wonder if it’s more mainstream than it is SF, little glowing automaton and all.  It’ll fit somewhere…maybe.

In other news, the blue bar has inched a little more.  I’m still miles behind on grading and have some other significant distractions to deal with (particularly from church) and it will stay stagnant for a few more days, but I got the ball rolling.  I think it starts too slow, taking way too long to get my protagonist into space. Chapter 3 ends with a shuttle launch, so he’s headed up now.  I went ahead and split my first chapter into two, so the progress isn’t as miraculous as it sounds.  I really want to get to work on the next chapter, but duty calls.  At least I’ll be driven to get back to work.

But right now I’m driven to get back to sleep.  Night.

Let’s never do that again

~ Scott W. Baker ~ 3 Comments

At long last, I took my Praxis tests today.  It was harrowing.  It was uncomfortable.  Maybe it was successful.

First came the content knowledge test, 120 questions in 120 minutes.  My practice runs had all been fine, so when I finally began the test in that massive lecture hall with my bubble sheet on the wafer they call a desktop, I was confident.  Question one included a short excerpt from a novel and included refernces to a character named Heathcliff… I should know that…but I didn’t.  Bad start.  I filled in the bubble for Wuthering Heights and moved on.  Score!  Process of elimination rules.

I went on (and on and on) and felt like I knew about half of the answers cold, was able to work out half of the others by eliminating wrong answers, had solid educated conclusions on others, and at least improved my guessing odds through elimination on all but maybe four.  I am confident I passed this one.  More to the point, if I didn’t pass, it’s not likely to get much better and the creative writing scheme is over.

Then came the pedagogy test.  I hope to God I passed that because I never want to endure that torture again.  Firstly (always hated that word), they managed to find a room on campus with smaller desk-wafers, chairs from the Spanish Inquisition, no discernible air conditioning in the midst of a freak tropical monsoon, and a wall so close to my personal space that I don’t want to tell my wife about it (she gets jealous).  I feel like I spent all morning staring at my belly button.

Then the tests were (finally!) distributed.  Two constructed response questions, one evaluating the teaching points of a piece of literature, the other dissecting a (fictional) student’s writing.  I thought I was ready for this test.  I did my reading and my SparkNoting and of course my Rocketbooking.  I had outlines prepared for six different high school literary mainstays: Frankenstein, Romeo and Juliet, The Great Gatsby, 1984, Beowulf, and as a matter of indulgence, The Hobbit.

All sorts of people insisted that R&J was almost always on the list of stories to write about, so I made it my #2 candidate (behind Frankenstein, whose outline was perfection) in my depth chart.  R&J wasn’t there.  Frank either.  But Gatsby, surely…but no.  1984?  Surely the singular paragon of Old English literature known as Beowulf would be there, right?  No and no.  Oh snap.  But there at the bottom, three stories from the end, was the jewel I never expected to see:  J.R.R. Tolkein’s The Hobbit.  It was there.

My first impression: Sweet!

My second impression: What the hell was on that outline?

To make a long story less long, I wrote the evaluation of the student work first (a daydream/adventure about a space ship) and muddled through my Hobbit part as best I could after that.  I finished the rough, low-detailed versions of my responses with time to spare.  Forty-five seconds is technically time, right.  None of my answers were brilliant.  It was okay.  I suspect that test will be a close call on either the pass or fail side.  Hard to say which.

In completely unrelated news, the Anywhere But Here Anthology promptly rejected L.R. this morning.  Running out of places to send that one.  Weird how the world didn’t stop for my test today.

I’m going to take a nap now.

Hey, I still have stories out there

~ Scott W. Baker ~ 2 Comments

Just got an email saying another story at ASIM passed slush round one and is into round two.  It was a nice reminder that I still have seeds in the wind.  I’ve been so absorbed with tests and my novel that I almost forgot.  Heh.

I only have five stories out.  I have others that probably need to be in the mail, too, but they’re currently on blocks in my front yard awaiting new tires and some transmission work.  I know, I know…but that’s where they are.

The five out are at very different stages. I’ll refer to them by initials for anyone who might know them, but I am newly against broadcasting story titles lest they end up in a contest.

  • G.B. has been out at Weird Tales for 122 days.  Long time with no word about anything, not even confirmation of receipt.  I need to start thinking about a query.
  • S.R. is being held byASIM for consideration.  They’ll either buy it or release it sometime in the next two months.
  • D.E., a fantasy flash piece, has been at Every Day Fiction for 65 days, just slightly over the advertised response time.  I expect they’ll buy it, but I can’t be certain as I’ve only sold them one story before.
  • L.R., the story that got me waitlisted for CW 2009, is awaiting the verdict from the Anywhere But Earth anthology.  It may or may not fit there.  It’s only been there 6 days so far.  The editor says he’ll be back to me in four weeks, so I guess 3 more.
  • T.O.L. is the story in round 2 at ASIM.  That also took six days, a lot faster than S.R. escaped the first round.  Then again, S.R. was extra slow considering their normal cycle.

And that’s it.  I should get the tires back on my rainbow story and get the engine back in E.E., but one thing at a time.

I took today off because my daughter’s sitter is sick.  With the big test tomorrow, I’ll sneak in as much studying as I can while we hang out.  Which means not much.  Writing can resume tomorrow afternoon.

Wish me luck.

Novel Numbers

~ Scott W. Baker ~ 8 Comments

I’m having a hard time believing I can finish this novel in just 50,000 words.  I just finished my first chapter and it was over 3k.  I could probably make two chapters out of it if I must, but the story is still just getting going.  My character will be on the spaceship by the end of the next chapter (probably 2k words or so) and the ship will begin its 50 year voyage at the beginning of the third.  The novel will end before that, leaving lots of sequel room.

Anyway, I took the time to do some more writing tonight.  I had to do it, studying be damned.  I’ll make up for it tomorrow.

3000 words per chapter puts it around 16-17 chapters.  Maybe that’ll work.  I just need to keep the words coming to figure out how long this thing will be.